Top 10 Reasons Men Prefer Guns Over Women (With Top 10 Reasons Women Prefer Guns Over Men)

Papa B:

#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22 AND nobody gets hurt.

#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road AND nobody gets hurt.

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?”

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman is...

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN.

Solo writes, "One of the women in my unit read this and felt compelled to retort.":

10 Reasons Why Women Prefer Guns Over Men
10. You can easily trade that snubby in for something with a longer barrel.

9. You can keep a gun clean with a little Hoppe's and some elbow grease.

8. A gun never complains about the fit of its holster.

7. A gun doesn't need to watch a bad Western on video before you take it to the range.

6. Too many rounds and shots over the years don't cause the trigger guard to grow and sag.

5. You can carry a gun in your pants all day without it becoming a pest.

4. A gun doesn't complain if you want to spend more than 15 minutes at the range.

3. Emission of noxious gases is always under your control.

2. A gun doesn't call you a tease after you do a bit of dry fire.

1. A gun doesn't need to take a nap after each shot.

Heh.

SCANDALOUS PHOTO: Most Dangerousest Assault Weapon Evah

What kind of madman dreams up a weapon like this?

USB key, ballistic calculator, pill bottle sights, shoulder thing that goes up, snorkel silencing device, forward grip, 120-round high capacity snake magazine.

Dangerous… we need to keep these out of the wrong hands.

An assault magazine with compensating suppressor? How can these still be LEGAL? DOES DIANNE FEINSTEIN KNOW ABOUT THIS???


Hat tip: BadBlue Guns.

MAP: Birth States of U.S. Presidents

Interesting section of a larger infographic:

Arkansas? Seriously? Arkansas?

With all due respect, of course.

Cartoon o' the day: Lennay-nay

Perfect.

Via: Kevin Jackson.

ON A ROLL: Bill Clinton's Sticky Situation

The geniuses at Hope n' Change Cartoons have been on a roll of late. If you haven't visited over the last few days, you've missed out on gems like these.

I'd recommend making H&C one of your regular bookmarks.

WHAT EVERY AMERICAN NEEDS: A DeLorean Hovercraft

"Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads..."

Great Scott! It's only a blimmin' DeLorean Hovercraft! Is this Dr. Emmett Brown's latest invention? A symbiotic hybrid of two of Back To The Future's greatest props: the Hoverboard and The DeLorean DMC-12? We're not sure, and don't really care. We're just glad it exists...

...Check the vid... to see a DMC-12 waft along San Fransico Bay on a cushion of air (potentially at 88mph), do a beach landing, followed by a pirouette, and then continue on its way like nothing happened.

We don't know who's driving (maybe the Libyans?), but we're just glad that someone had their camera phone unholstered and got this on digital tape. Meanwhile, we're also trying to get confirmation it runs on a hybrid nuclear / petrol motor requiring 1.21 jigawatts to charge...

No word on a "Mr. Fusion" power-plant option.


Hat tip: BadBlue Car News.

PROJECT WAYBACK: Democrats Unveil Master Plan for Gun Control

Foolproof.

Step 1: Construct time machine.

Note: Constructing such a time machine will only add $10 to $12 trillion to the national deficit.

Step 2: Hire deadly assassin who can blend in perfectly in the 19th century.

Step 3: Using the time machine, send deadly assassin back to 1880.

Step 4: Have deadly assassin kill Richard Gatling and Hiram Maxim, thereby "un-inventing" automatic and semi-automatic firearms

*Voila!* Gun problem solved!

Don't laugh. Knowing Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, the brain trust of the Democrat Party, this plan is bound to get wide support from the Left.

Nah, no one would ever fall for the old "invisible driver drives through the drive-thru" gag!

Now this is good:

Hat tip: Ame.

CAPTION CONTEST: Madame Tussauds Exhibit or...?

There is no better argument for term limits than this picture:

Frightening thought: these are just two of thousands of career politicians who've grown rich at the public trough. If these people had to earn a living in the private sector their only public statements would be something like, "Wouldja like to super-size that, ma'am?"


Image: The Blaze.

SHOCK, ANGER: Newspaper Publishes Map of Texas Gun Owners

Of course, the anger and shock turned out to be among the anti-American loons on the Left.

Oh, the humanity!


Hat tip: Reaganite Republican.

QUESTIONS: I've got questions

• What was the exact date that Democrats changed their minds and started loving the Bush Tax Cuts?

• Anyone ever look up Paul Krugman's credit score? Because if he runs his own finances the way he wants to run the federal budget, he couldn't buy a pack of Lucky Strikes on credit.

• Why doesn't the Equal Protection Clause prevent Congress from enacting all sorts of rules and regulations that apply to us, but not them (e.g., Obamacare, Social Security, etc.)?

• What's wrong with Harry Reid? I mean, what's clinically wrong with him? And, for that matter, what medical afflictions plague Joe "Spread Your Legs" Biden? And what does this mentally crimped pair tell us about the Democrat Party?

• What would you say to Bill Maher if you happened to get on an elevator with him?

• Is there no Republican leader who will call Barack Obama a Marxist? Because that's what he is -- and he has proudly said so in so many words (tax the rich, spread the wealth, punish big companies, ...).

• And are there no Democrats with virtue left? Are there no Democrats who will decry the fiscal abyss facing us, who would condemn their children and grandchildren to lives far more miserable then their own?


Image: Moonbattery.

CSI: Little Rock

Q: Why is it so difficult to solve a murder in Arkansas?

A: All the DNA matches and there are no dental records.


Note: For those Arkansanians offended, feel free to substitute AL, KY, LA, MS, or WV when forwarding.

Hat tip: PointsNFigures.

CAGE MATCH: 3rd Annual PUK Awards Underway

iOwnTheWorld is conducting its third annual PUK awards as a series of cage matches. Click here for the first one.


I don't care who you are, that there is funny.

CASH MONEY CAPTION CONTEST: Cthulhu Feinstein

Biff Spackle has $25 burning a hole in his pocket for the winner:

TROLLING REDNECKS 101: Having Fun in the Woods

Hat tip: Papa B:

The Most Terrifying Photo You Will See This Fortnight

Your eyes are not deceiving you.

The topmost selection is a vending machine burrito that could very well be consumed this Christmas Eve.

OH, IT'S ON: How to have Santa send personalized messages to your friends and family members

What could be cooler than getting a personal call from Santa?

It's that time of year again: Time to send someone a personalized holiday call from Santa Claus. The jovial St. Nick (or, well, Google) asks you a few questions then creates a customized message you can send by phone, email, or Google+.

It's a fun little holiday tool that you can send to anyone, seeing as some choices for your recipient's occupation include "accountant," "IT guy," and "Sith master." Besides Christmas, you can choose the celebration to be "winter," "the season," and "staying warm," among others. (I'm fond of the nickname suggestions, such as "home skillet" and "schmoopie.")

Note that personal phone calls are available to North American phone numbers only and during the day

Click here to have Santa place a call.

CHRISTMAS GOODIES: 1951

Spotted at the amazing historical photo site Shorpy:

Fast-forward 61 years and I expect most kids will be getting Barack Obama Inaction Figures and Dick Trumka Union Thug Dolls.

GRAPHIC: What Your Beer Says About Your Politics

Via National Journal:

Americans who most often drink Dos Equis are in the middle-of-the-road while drinkers of Heineken's flagship brand are strongly Democratic. Samuel Adams drinkers are strongly Republican, and more likely to vote.

Beer has a long and storied place in American presidential history and politics.

George Washington famously brewed it. James Madison purportedly sought to create a cabinet-level Secretary of Beer. And Franklin Delano Roosevelt helped make it legal to produce and sell (again) by championing legislation repealing Prohibition. Upon signing the bill, he reportedly said, "I think this would be a good time for a beer."

HMMM: The Sensitive Man

Bernie -- the epitome of a true romantic -- sent this one in:

A woman meets a man in a bar.

They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together..

They get back to his place,

And as he shows her around his apartment.

She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom.

With hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them.

And she was immediately touched.

By the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf,

Medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf,

And huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy, to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears.

She is quite impressed by his sensitive side.

But doesn't mention this to him.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God!"

"Maybe, this guy could be the one!"

"Maybe he could be the future father of my children?"

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips.

He responds warmly.

They continue to kiss, the passion builds.

And he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom.

They rip off each other's clothes and the most passionate lovemaking session she has ever known ensues.

She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more energy, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy,

They are lying there together in the afterglow.

The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly,

"Well, how was it?"

The guy gently smiles at her,

Strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes,

And says:

'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'